ASOUE Parody Songs!
by MissVioletBaudelaire14
Summary: A bunch of Parody Songs! More to come!
1. Tik Tok

**heres a little parody remake of the song Tik Tok by Ke$ha. **

**It's kinda like Violet's version of the song. **

**Disclaimer: I only own this parody...not ASOUE**

**Tik Tok **

**By: Ke$ha**

Wake up in the morning

to hearing Mr. Poe

Klaus got his glasses

We're at Olaf's door

We gotta hit those chores

Before we leave

Brush our teeth

with a tub of toothpaste

'cause when we're running for the night

we ain't got time to waste.

I'm talking:

Slamming Count Olaf's doors-doors

Esme buying us ugly clothes-clothes

Aunts that are afraid of phones-phones

Still running

ain't carring no merchandises

uncovering Olaf's disguies

apparently the sugar bowl is priceless-

Don't shoot!

That harpoon!

now the Quagmires' in that balloon, tonight

we're gonna fight

till Count Olaf sees the light

Tik Tok

on the clock

but the chase doesn't stop, no

Oh Oh Whoa Oh

Oh Oh Whoa Oh

He ain't got a care in the world

cause all his beer's in a tank

Ain't got no money in our pockets

'cause it's all in the bank

And now the news are stacking up

'cause they say we've been killing

but we kick it to the curb

while we're mixin' and minglin'

I'm talking 'bout-

school's food tatses like junk-junk

Quagmire boys kick crunk -crunk

Always smackin' Olaf when he gets drunk-drunk

Now-now

Pruffrock had kicked us out-out

'Cause the Quagmires got shoved down-down

Quagmires got shoved down-down

Quagmires got shoved down

Don't shoot!

That harpoon!

now the Quagmires' in that balloon, tonight

we're gonna fight

till Count Olaf sees the light

Tik Tok

on the clock

but the chase doesn't stop, no

Oh Oh Whoa Oh

Oh Oh Whoa Oh

(Fat Poe)

you build us up

you break us down

our tears they fall-

yeah you left us

with our heads down

you left us now

with our heads down

yeah you left us

(Fat Poe)

you build us up

you break us down

our tears they fall

yeah you left us

with our heads down

can't get them up

can't get them up

yeah, there were times

in the middle where

we fell in love

Don't shoot!

That harpoon!

now the Quagmires' in that balloon, tonight

we're gonna fight

till Count Olaf sees the light

Tik Tok

on the clock

but the chase doesn't stop, no

Oh Oh Whoa Oh

Oh Oh Whoa Oh

Don't shoot!

That harpoon!

now the Quagmires' in that balloon, tonight

we're gonna fight

till Count Olaf sees the light

Tik Tok

on the clock

but the chase doesn't stop, no

Oh Oh Whoa Oh

Oh Oh Whoa Oh

(Fat Poe)

*we hear Violet chuckling*

**I enjoyed writing this! My favorite line is 'Quagmire boys kick crunk-crunk' So lemme know what you think! Next song, coming up!**

**Song: Tik Tok **

**Property of Ke$ha**


	2. One of Those Pervs

**This Song is called One of Those Pervs and it's a parody of One of Those Girls by Avril Lavigne. **

**Disclaimer: I only own the parody lyrics of this song**

**I guess this song can also be Violet's song. I don't know...It could be like their theme for Count Olaf because that's whom the song is based on.**

**One of Those Pervs**

**By: Avril Lavigne**

La la la la la la la

We know you're the kind of perv

You only care about three things

Who you've killed

What you stole

The people with money

That look you use

With your eyes

It tells so many lies

But deep inside

We three know why

You're running after us

We know what you're all about

The police is gonna

Figure you out

He's one of those pervs

'Causing lots of trouble

Just one look

And youre running on the double

Before we know it

There you are

Finding us 'cause we're the ones

He's so bad

You'll never see it coming

He'll try to kill you on a ride

And you'd be left as nothing

Before we know it

There you are

Finding us 'cause we're the ones.

Oh Oh Oh

Finding us 'cause we're the ones

Oh Oh Yeah Yeah

Oh Oh

He's gonna be the end of us

At least that's what they say

Its been a while

Poe's in denial

But it's been too late

The way he looks-

Is oh, so, high

All the warning signs

'Cause his one uni-brow

His ankled eye

It makes you wanna cry

We know what you're all about

The police is gonna

Figure you out

He's one of those pervs-

Causing lots of trouble

Just one look

And you're running on the double

Before we know it,

There you are

Finding us cause we're the ones.

He's so bad

You'll never see it coming

He'll try to kill you on a ride

And you'd be left as nothing

Before we know it

There you are

Finding us 'cause we're the ones

Poe thinks it's a game

Poe thinks it's a game

Olaf keeps playing around

With his head

Playing around with his head

Olaf's so insane, so insane

He's to one to blame

He's the one to blame

He's one of those pervs

'Causing lots of trouble

Just one look

And you're running on the double

Before we know it,

There you are

Finding us 'cause we're the ones

He's so bad

You'll never see it coming

He'll try to kill you on a ride

And you'd be left as nothing

Before we know it

There you are

Finding us 'cause we're the ones

Oh Oh Oh

Finding us 'cause we're the ones

Oh Oh Yeah Yeah

Finding us 'cause we're the ones

**Yeah.... (: Please review. I'm also taking requests! Haha. I love making parodies, their just so much fun! **


	3. The Show

**This song is dedicated to TheBaudelaireOrphan because she requested this song. It took me a while to think of the lyrics, but I figured it out! The song takes place during the Marvelous Marriage**

**Disclaimer: I only own the re-written lyrics...which are by me, of course (:**

**the song is called _The Show _and it's by Lenka.**

**This song can be found on Youtube**

**Everything is divided because everyone has a part in this one. **

**Violet's part is in** regular print. **Klaus's part is in**_ italics. _**Sunny's part is **underlined **Olaf's part is in _bold italics_**

**And the Audience is in _bold print italic underline. _**

******Got it? Good_. _But don't worry about it. i put in lines to divide the parts up.**

**The Show:**

I'm just a little bit caught in

the middle

Life is a maze

and love is a riddle

I dont where I go

cant do it alone

Ive tried

and I dont know why

* * *

Killing fast cause he's a terd

someday your lies

are going to burst

Cause it's too much,

But it's a lot

To be somethin'

Youre not

_

* * *

__Ima child out of things_

_cause bad luck_

_is as it seems_

* * *

I'm just a little bit caught

in the middle

Life is a maze

and love is a riddle

I dont where I go

cant do it alone

Ive tried

and I dont know why

* * *

And I'm just a little girl

lost in the moment

* * *

_We're so scared_

_But we don't show it._

* * *

I cant' figure it out

Its bringin me down, I know

* * *

_I cannot let it go...._

_Gotta destroy the show._

* * *

The moon shines down

Through the sky

just like the giant spotlights

The people follow the signs

and all sit down in time.

* * *

It's a joke nobody gets

cause they're comin

to see me wed

(yeah) I'm just a little bit caught

in the middle

Life is a maze

and love is a riddle

I dont where I go

cant do it alone

Ive tried

and I dont know why

* * *

And I'm just a little girl

lost in the moment

* * *

_We're so scared but we dont show it_

* * *

I cant figure it out its bringing me down, I know

* * *

_I cannot let it go..._

_

* * *

_

So just enjoy the show!

Just enjoy the show!

I'm just a little bit caught

in the middle

Life is a maze

and love is a riddle

I dont where I go

cant do it alone

Ive tried

and I dont know why

* * *

And I'm just a little girl

lost in the moment

* * *

_We're so scared but we dont show it_

* * *

I cant figure it out its bringing me down, I know

* * *

_I cannot let it go..._

* * *

So just enjoy the show

Dum dee dum da dum dee dum

* * *

**_Just enjoy the show!_**

* * *

Da Dum Dee Dum da dum dee dum

* * *

**Just enjoy the show!**_**I want my money back!**_ (3x)

* * *

**_Just enjoy the show!_**

* * *

**I want my money back!** (3x)

* * *

_I destroyed the show!_

** WOOO! Please review! and request!**


	4. Ugly Guys

**Parody of Fireflies by Owl City! **

**Disclaimer: I only own the rewritten stuff--its unoffical.**

**This is Sunny's song...It's really random and such...**

**At the end, the last line is in parenthesis because there are no words in the end after the chorus. I added it in there, however, because I thought it would fit!**

**Ugly Guys**

You would not believe your eyes

if just ten ugly guys

broke into your house

and ate all your fries

Cause they kill the open air

and leave teardrops everywhere

and Poe is rude 'cause

he just stands and stares

I like to make myself believe

that Count Olaf is ugly

It's hard to say that I'd rather

eat my sister than kiss my brother

but then again we all love one another

...and I drink my water!

'Cause Klaus gets 1,000 hugs

from 10,000 ugly studs

as they try to teach him how to diss

A fox-doll above his head

a tooth fairy beneath his bed

a caution sign is just hanging by a thread

I like to make myself believe

that Count Olaf is ugly

It's hard to say that I'd rather

eat my sister than kiss my brother

but then again we love one one another

...and I drink my water!

Leave my door open just a crack

(please take Klaus away from me)

'Cause Snicket's such an insomniac

(please take Klaus away from me)

Why do I tired of biting things?

(Please take Klaus away from me)

When I'm far to tired to cook or sleep

To just ten ugly guys

I'm weird cause I love good-byes

I get misty eyed as they say hello

But I'll know where several are

If my life gets real bizzare

'Cause I know a few

That love to talk while they chew

I like to make myself believe

that Count Olaf is ugly

It's hard to say that I'd rather

eat my sister than kiss my brother

Bur then again we all one another

...and I drink my water!

I like to make myself believe

That Count Olaf is ugly

It's hard to say that I'd rather

eat my sister than kiss my brother

but then again we all love one another

...and I drink my water!

I like to make believe

that Count Olaf is ugly

It's hard to say that I'd rather

eat my sister than kiss my brother

but then again we all love one another...

(Till I spill my water....)

**Review and please feel free to request a song! By the way, Violet Baudelaire now owns a FaceBook! Please add her! Talk to her, ask her questions...she'll answer them all!**


	5. Food Story

**Song parody time!**

**Sorry I haven't upload in a while. Parodies are kind of getting harder to do. Some of you suggested Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus and that one's kinda hard to do but I'm working on it! **

**Instead here's a parody I made a long time ago. **

**Ever heard Thug Story by Taylor Swift and T. Pain? Well here is a parody of that. This time the singers are rappers. We got Duncan Quagmire and Klaus Baudelaire rapping on the same track!**

**IMPORTANT: I wrote this parody because if you have read my sister's stories (MISS SUNNY BAUDELAIRE) then you'd know about Duncan's odd obsession with Mexican burritos and Klaus's obsession with tacos. This is for them!**

**You can find Thug Story on YouTube.**

**This parody is called Food Story.**

**I do not own Thug Story.. I only own this parody, Food Story. Nor do I own ASOUE.**

**Klaus's part is in **_italics_**. Duncan's part is in **regular print**.**

**(if it's possible, imagine a guy singing this instead of Taylor Swift...or lets just pretend this is Duncan before he hit puberty. ha ha! not to be mean or anything)**

**I honestly think this is an EPIC FAIL. But if you tend to think differently by the end, then that's cool.**

**Food Story:**

**(Originally Thug Story)**

_Mex, Mex, Mexican…grill burritos!_

I'm like five foot seven, dark hair to my shoulders,

you shorties never thought I dreamed about rapping hardcore!

No, I ain't got a gun, Yeah, I've actually been in a club.

Wish I were living with my parents, which proves I'm such a thug!

I'm so gangster you can find me eating burritos at night!

You out burning?

Well I just ate Jalepeño Delight!

Flava Dog and Killa Klaus rapping on the same track.

It's a Food Story tell me can you handle that?

I had a dream last week I ate some Taco Bell.

I had beans in my mouth, and hot sauce in my nails.

By the time I woke, I was singing:

_Man, I'm in looo-oove!_

Cause I'm a Feaster turned Rapper!

_Taco, I'm a make ya!_

Straight to my stomach, yo!

_Taco, I'm a eat ya!_

You can call me Lil' Dunkin—now I'm a rap star.

_Hey, it's a Food Story tell 'em who you are! _

_Feaster turned gangster!_

You don't wanna fight me!

_Straight to my stomach!_

In my medium sized green tee!

_Flava Dog and Killa Klaus all up on the same track. _

_It's a Food Story, tell me can you get with that?_

Food! Food! I love burritos, yo!

Food! Food! Don't steal it-*Bleep!*

Hey hold on… hold on I didn't even say anything I didn't even-

_What?_

I said "yo!"

_Yep!_

Isadora, you bleeped me and I didn't even say anything—I didn't even swear!

_He didn't even swear!_

Hello?…GAA!

**Well, obviously Isadora didn't care whether or not if Duncan cursed or not. But that's not her problem! Ha, ha. Well here you are. Another meaningless parody! Just kidding. I can like just imagine Liam Aiken as Klaus and he'd be looking all hot and stuff in a gangster look with a flat bill and his long hair…Now that's pretty hot! Ha, ha. Sorry, thought I had to bring it up.**

**Please Review, guys! And keep it real! (; ha ha**


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